Rudeness

Lately, it seems like I've seen more than an average amount of rudeness. Toward me. Toward others. Within the family. In complete strangers.

I'm not sure exactly what to think of it. I'm starting to wonder if this is just a societal decline that I've somehow missed while I was tucked away in Ohio or if it is just a by product of a nasty election.

On several occasions the past few months, I've witnessed people being rude for no reason. Sometimes it's cutting people off in traffic and other times it's ramming a cart into someone at the store. There's no apology, not even an acknowledgement that they've done something wrong.

Yesterday, I asked a question of a cashier at the store. She was short, told me I was absolutely wrong and offered no explanation as to why. Att did the same thing. What happened to the customer is always right mentality? It's gone!

When we told our families we were moving home, they all seemed excited and happy. Since we've been back, it's been completely different. We've barely seen them. Any time with them is contentious and hateful things are said and done. We haven't really changed. In fact, we may have but in positive ways. We are happier. We've had texts and phone calls go unanswered. We've been blocked from social media.

I typically don't rag on my friends, but it seems the bug has bitten them too. People have been short and well, rude. We've taken it all, mostly, with forgiving hearts. I've even had to cut off contact with two dear friends because I just couldn't tolerate the rudeness that seemed personally pointed at me.

Don't think that this season hasn't come with a  great deal of personal reflection. Am I repelling people with an attitude that I don't see? Do I bring this negativity on myself?

The truth is, I don't know. Maybe. Possibly I've been too arrogant with this move home. By that, I mean I went through a time of being thankful for answered prayers and constantly saying so. I know sometimes people don't take that well. We, as humans, sometimes do not like to see someone have answered prayers when ours are not.

It's possible I've turned people away with my own attitude. It was a rough, dry season in Ohio. We capped it off by losing my mother in law in a traumatic way and the burden of another move falling completely on me. I came home excited, but tired. I know I've had very little tolerance at times with a bent toward high anxiety.

In reality, there's a good chance it's a combination of all of the above. But it feels incredibly personal. It's lonely being at home everyday of every week of every month. The phone never rings and I think I've gotten maybe five texts since Christmas that weren't from my husband or from someone not needing something. It's lonely, but for now maybe it's a safe place to be.