Family Done Right

As I sit here in central Indiana tonight, my plan was to walk you through this unique shopping experience that I had today.  It was wild and crazy and certainly deserves a post all of it's own.  But not tonight.

Sitting on the edge of an air mattress, I find myself very overwhelmed.  Yes, I'm still on sensory overload from the past two days, but this is different.  My eyes are swelling and tears are sure to follow as I examine exactly what it is that I am feeling.

There is a sadness, a continuous longing to be home.  The truth is that I miss it.  I miss my husband and I miss my dogs.  I love them all so much and it's hard being away from them.  Sometimes, I think these times are meant to happen so I don't become complacent and forget how much I love them and need them in my life.

In an odd way, the other thing I find myself feeling is grief.  It isn't so much a hugely sad grief, but one that is full of gratitude.

Ok, without a doubt, there was nothing functionally normal about my family.  My reality was that family couldn't stand to be around each other, acted hateful toward each other, never showed genuine love, was loud and obnoxious, and really could have been mistaken for a gang of hated enemies.  I promise you, I have seen multiple fist fights, bloody noses and police at family reunions. 

You could easily say that I've seen family done really, really wrong.

This weekend is the first time that I've spent extended time with a Christian family.  Day and night, eating and sleeping in the same house with and just living life for multiple days along side a real, grounded in faith family.

Let me tell you, I've seen something very special....almost surreal.

I am with a friend, her daughter, grand daughter and the daughter's best friend.  We all have been welcomed and made to feel at home by my friend's in-laws.  Since I come from a family where in-laws are more like outlaws and given my experience with my in-laws, it's almost unnatural to see in-laws be so loving and gracious. 

Last night for dinner, the in-laws, the gang of Missouri gals and my friend's mother, sister and grandpa all joined us for dinner.  That's right, you read that right.  My friend had her in-laws, mom, sister, grandpa, daughter, grand daughter and two friends all around the table, enjoying pizza.  And get this, they weren't just enjoying pizza...they were enjoying each other even more. 

There was smiling, gut-splitting laughing, funny stories, bantering and a complete void of anything negative.  The evening was like living in a family-friendly twilight zone for me.  I kept thinking; when is somebody going to get mad and walk out?; when are they going to start fighting or throwing punches?

I realized fairly quick that this was a family done right.  Now, I didn't say done perfect, but done right. 

Listening and observing, I could see, hear and feel the genuine love they have for one another.  Sure, it is the marriage of my friends who brings these two families together.  But, it's obviously something much bigger that brings them together as one family. 

When you observe how these families operate and function altogether, you understand what that big something is...it's God.  The way they lead God-centered lives is so apparent in how they live, but completely, overwhelmingly obvious in how they love each other and the people who come into their lives.

Given so many of my experiences with people in and out of church, I wondered if any one's life really, truly reflected the way they presented themselves at church or even one-on-one.  I have absolutely seen that this weekend. 

So, as I get ready for the second half of this crazy, long weekend, I leave you with three thoughts:

1.  Yes, absence really does make the heart grow fonder.  For me, I am reminded that I do love parts of my life and I am connected to them in real ways.
2.  Family done wrong, is just that...wrong.  Just because something is a certain way, doesn't mean it's right.  It also doesn't mean that you can't ever see it done right.  It's also ok to grieve when all you've ever known is family done wrong.
3.  Family can be done right, not perfect...but right.  It isn't a person, place or thing that can bring people together in harmony.  I believe it's only God who can do that and when He does....well...it's just heartwarming, overwhelmingly, beautiful and you can't help but want to be a part of it.