My Legacy

Last week, I was sitting at a concert when I heard Matthew West talk about family dysfunction prior to singing his song "Family Tree."  The song talks about how what your family has done and done to you does not have to be your legacy.

I have heard him sing this song live a couple times and listened to it many times.  But never had it reduced me to tears the way it did that night.

There were a couple things that punched me in the gut...both good and bad.

The song starts with:

You didn't ask for this
Nobody ever would
Caught in the middle of this dysfunction
It's your sad reality
It's your messed up family tree
And all your left with all these questions

With all that I have been and continue to go through, the start of this song epitomizes my life.  A lot of what you see on my blog is the tough times when I question.  I don't just question, but I get angry.  That's right, I get angry with God.  I blame and continuously wrestle through the past, present and future with God.  I'm sure you even see I try to run away from or destroy anything good in my life.  Rarely do I embrace what is good during those times and remember that all that's good is wrapped tightly in my heart.

Understanding that without knowing my full story, you won't be able to grasp why my reality is that I have more bad days than good.  And...the reason falls directly on the shoulders of the dysfunction of my family.  A sad reality that has left me with a long road still to overcome.

The next part of the song:

No, this is not your legacy
This is not your destiny
Yesterday does not define you
No, this is not your legacy
This is not your meant to be
I can break the chains that bind you

This is where I found the good.  In fact, the only good thing that really matters. 

I once read a quote that said something like this:  I couldn't have chosen God unless he had first chosen me.

When I think about my family and the dysfunction which still exists, I have no choice but to believe that God chose me.  God chose to pluck me away from what surely would have been a longer life of evil and dysfunction.  Not that it is all gone, but it is much improved.

To date, God hasn't chosen to pull any of the other family members away from the swirling pool of dysfunction.  I'm not sure why and I certainly don't spend a lot of time agonizing over it.

God has not only drawn me out of it, but He has provided the tools to moved beyond it.  That's pretty amazing to me.  God has provided a way to change my legacy by showing me that my family's dysfunction is not my destiny.

Here is the video for the song I referenced.  I encourage you to listen to it and apply it to your dysfunctional family tree.