Rest

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Matthew 11:28

After so many years of having chronic insomnia, this is one of my favorite verses.

Even now, I know that days and days without sleep should have crippled me to the point of physical and mental exhaustion.  With a few exceptions, I was able to go days and weeks with no more than 1-2 hours of sleep in any 36 hour time period. 

I believe the reason I was able to function, albeit not well at times, was because of the rest promised in that verse.  It was the rest that came for my mind and body in other forms besides sleep.  For most people, rest means sleep and only sleep.  My rest came in other forms. 

There were times when I was able to close my eyes in a dark room at church and my mind would slow enough to feel a bit of escape from my exhaustion.  Other times, my rest would come in the form of a friend letting me doze on her couch or just be in a quiet place where I could relax.  There were even times when I reassured by a friend that they cared and were praying for me.

I still have problems with sleep, they haven't magically disappeared.  I am able to sleep 4-5 hours on average now, which is better.  I had two doctors tell me to be considered "cured" of my insomnia, I would need to sleep 8 hours per night for an average of 5 nights per week consistently and one week for each month I had suffered insomnia.  That would mean I need to sleep like that for about 40 weeks to be considered "cured" of my insomnia.  Whew!  I'm definitely not there yet.

Right now my pattern is to alternate nights of sleeping 4-6 hours or 1-2 hours per night.  I've got a ways to go.

As we get ready to leave for a week long vacation, I am reminded so affectionately of Matthew 11:28.  I'm exhausted!  I have enough going on in my life, that without insomnia, I'd still be exhausted. 

We have rented a vacation home in a canyon at the base of the Rocky Mountains.  There is no more beautiful place in the world, in my opinion.  We will have our dogs and all the comforts of home.  But, I'll struggle to get comfortable and sleep will be a challenge if the past is any indication. 

I know that I will find rest, regardless of sleep.  I'm so thankful that I can look forward to that rest.  God knows how much Kent and I both need it right now. 

I am hoping that this break away will be a time of rejuvenation for both of us....a chance to remember where our rest is found....a reminder where our strength comes from....a revival of the new creations we are to be.