Since I'm a person with lots of issues, I'm also a person who gets multitudes of advice.
I won't say all the advice I've gotten is bad. Some of it has been really good. Some of it has been really, terribly bad. I will say that the majority of it has come at the wrong time in my life. And, most of that has come from someone who doesn't grasp what my life is truly like.
When offering advice or your opinion about what someone should or shouldn't be doing, there is so much to consider.
Past Experience: Everyone has their own past experiences. Without question, everyone can pinpoint some dysfunction from their past, but there are definitely varying degrees of dysfunction. Even if the level of dysfunction or circumstance seems to be parallel to your life, there is still much to consider. The method of survival, personality bent, current experiences, how open they are, length of experience, and so much more are all relevant factors to consider when you believe you understand the person.
Some questions to ask yourself about past experience before you consider offering advice:
Has this person truly trusted me with the entire scope of their past?
Do I fully understand who they are and how they have gotten to this point in their life?
Am I completely aware of what their circumstances are right now?
Emotional Stability: Depending on where the person is at in their journey, they may have times of emotional instability. When you go through counseling, therapy, down times, etc., there can be a varied swing of emotions. I speak from experience, each day of the week can be labeled with a different emotion. Someone just beginning this journey may often find themselves having more bad days than good. Even when the balance begins to shift and there are more good than bad, it is still a very delicate balance.
Some questions to ask yourself about emotional stability before you consider offering advice:
Do you have enough contact with this person to know what their emotional state is right now?
Will the advice you are about to offer risk interrupting that delicate emotional balance?
Is the advice something that would be better given during a time of more stability?
If it is difficult and cannot wait, does the person have proper support if the advice rocks their stability?
Spiritual Maturity: This is a tricky one. There are Christians who have been so since they were children, yet mature slowly. There are Christians who accept Christ as an adult and mature very quickly. It's not much different than the ages and maturity levels in a Freshman class. Everyone is different. When someone has emotional instability or severe past experiences, spiritual maturity can be easily effected and hampered. It seems so easy for Christians, especially seasoned or mature one, to expect spiritual maturity to come with number of years and disregard all other factors. That is a vital error. Another error is to expect someone to mature at the same rate which you have matured. Some people are going to be slower and some faster.
Some questions to ask yourself about spiritual maturity before you consider offering advice:
How spiritually mature were you before you believed, learned or experienced this truth?
Do you honestly know the level of spiritual maturity of this person?
Is this an opinion or advice which could cause this person to stumble or feel inferior because they are not spiritually as mature as you?
Will this advice be pertinent to the spiritual growth of this person?
If the advice is necessary and there is a lack of maturity, what will you do to aid in spiritual growth?
There are so many areas I could cover, but these are the ones on my heart right now.
If I could offer just one piece of advice for anyone wanting to offer advice, it would be this:
Before you give any advice to anyone, take a moment to consider not how much it changed your life but how long it took you in your own journey to learn that lesson. Don't ever forget your own journey; how hard, how long, how difficult it was for you to take advice from others.
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