She's TOO Young

So unlike the last post, I am going to start off by saying this one is going to be judgemental.  It maybe filled with disgust and a full blown eyes blazing red rant.

I had a very uncomfortable and unsolicited conversation with my brother's wife this weekend.  I can't even tell you how it started because where it ended had me completely focused on what was said.

She told me it was probably about time for her to take my niece to get on birth control.  My niece is 12.  She is 12 years-old.  TWELVE!  She is a very immature 12 year-old.

When I asked if it was for health reasons, I was told NO.  This is the explanation I got.  "My mom never talked to me about that stuff.  Your brother was having sex at her age and I don't want her to get stuck like I did.  I didn't have any choices.  I don't want her to have sex but I don't want her to end up like me."

WTF!!!!!!!!

So, teach your daughter the value of abstinence.  Don't put your 12 year-old daughter in situations where she is faced with the decision to have sex.

Just because she had two kids by the time she was 17 doesn't mean her daughter has to follow in her footsteps. 

I am positive that there is still a hole in my tongue and I still have steam seeping from my head.  I was frankly pissed off that she would consider this as an option. 

My brother started having sex at a young age because that's what he was taught.  He was taught it was ok and normal.  Both my brothers learned this.

 I cannot claim to have held onto my virginity since it was stolen from me long before I knew what it was.  However, as far as it had to do with me, I waited until I was 19 to have sex willingly for the first time.  I was able separate what was forced on me and what I willingly did.  There is no way I could have chosen to do that any sooner than I did. 

I still cannot wrap my head around 12, 14, 16 or even 18 year-olds choosing to have sex.  In fact, I didn't even get on birth control until I was 20. 

If not for health reasons, why would you want to put a 12 year-old on birth control?  If you want your child to not make the same mistakes you did, why wouldn't you try to teach them better?  Teach them to not do what you did.

My niece and nephew are just entering puberty.  They have so much growing up to do.  They are still kids.  I know they are going to grow up and there will be little anyone can say or do about it.  This isn't about not wanting them to grow up.  But it is about wanting them to have a fighting chance at holding onto their innocent minds and bodies for as long as possible.

The only thing I could say to this was...I think if my parents had put me on birth control at 12 I would have taken that as permission to be sexually active.

What else do you say when all you can do is restrain the physical anger that wants to jump out of you and take on the form of the Incredible Hulk?