To my delight alone, I have been driving all summer. Nobody is happier about that than me. In fact, I'm not sure anybody is happy about that except me. Although, there have really not been many problems.
I did have an incident this week which made me reconsider my desire to drive....briefly.
Our accident in 2011 certainly raised my level of anxiety while riding in a car. I have much less of it when I'm the one driving. After a couple months behind the wheel, I am cautious and yet very carefree while driving. That's definitely not the case while riding with someone else.
Isn't it funny how sometimes it only takes one little thing to remind us that we aren't invincible? To remind us just how small we are? To remind us that God is bigger than us? To remind us that all the little things work together for something bigger? To remind us just how vulnerable we really are?
While making the 10 minute trek between suburbs one evening this week, I had what I am positive was a little thing happen to me. I am sure it would have been deemed "cool" by my husband and a lot of guys. It might have rattled some of the ladies I know, but some of them probably would have thought it was exciting after the initial shock.
As I drove down the highway, I saw ahead that I had a green light to keep going. I usually am very attentive to all side roads even when I have the right of way. As I approached the intersection, I saw a large truck barreling down the side street but was certain it would stop at the red light. Wrong!
The truck fishtailed through traffic, smacking a car and light pole in it's path. By this time, I was already into the intersection and could see the truck wasn't stopping for anyone. I hit my brakes and veered to the side as the end of the truck swung just inches away from my bumper.
In a complete state of shock, I know I took a deep breath and had some choice words flowing through my head about the truck load of young cowboys who were hanging out the windows and yelling. In that brief second, I couldn't believe they had just blown through a stop light causing so much damage and nearly hitting me.
It may have seemed like minutes but I know it was only seconds later, I realized that these fools weren't stopping. Why? Well, it might have had something to do with the police cars chasing them. One after another, police cars were in pursuit of these young men and I was sitting right in the middle of their chase.
As I watched the truck and cars get smaller and smaller as they headed further away, the tears in my eyes got bigger and bigger. I took a lot of deep breaths and headed back out on the highway. I didn't cry, but those giant tears set in my eyes all the way home. I'm not sure I even blinked.
My mind didn't slow down the rest of the way home. If I hadn't taken that extra 30 seconds to send a text message or if I had been on my phone and not paying attention or if I hadn't slowed down when I did.
Being in the driver's seat didn't make me any bigger or any more in control. I was a little tiny spec in a great big world and I was vulnerable. A few seconds in either direction and my evening would have ended a lot different.
I haven't given up driving yet (I know there are some people anxiously waiting for that moment), but I'm driving a little bit more alert the past few days. And, I'm certainly driving a lot more thankful when I arrive home safely.
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