Smiles

As I get ready to go through our vacation pictures, I am reminded of how hard it was to get a smile from my niece and nephew.

I asked my nephew the first day why he wouldn't smile.  He said because a tooth far back on the side was chipped and he was embarrassed.  He said, "it's the same reason my dad doesn't smile." 

It is true that his dad had chipped a front tooth growing up, ruining his once perfect smile.  Surprisingly enough, it had everything to do with lack of attention at school and nothing to do with the tumultuous home life.  My parents didn't have the money to get it fixed like most parents would do now.

The conversation made me think about smiling.  It has only been in the past 10 years that I have been more comfortable smiling and only in the more recent years that I have embraced it.

Obviously, we didn't have a lot to smile about as children.  That wasn't really the biggest problem with smiling.  My dad hated it!  Looking back, I think he took smiling as a form of happiness.  The slightest hint of happiness was a threat to his control over us and his desire to keep us miserable.

Smiling and laughing taunted him.  Have you ever heard the saying, "I'll wipe that smile off your face."?  Well in our house, it was used and over used.  It wasn't an antagonistic statement so much as a viable warning of what would happen if we showed the slightest bit of happiness.

Outside of the home and for years after I left, a smile consisted of an upturned, closed lip smile at best. 

When I started working at the eye clinic, one of the doctors told me I had a wonderful phone voice that the patients would value.  He is also the one who taught me that your phone voice is greatly altered if you will intentionally smile throughout the conversation.  That was probably the point, I started smiling willingly.

I don't know that there was a turning point, but I have started to embrace my smile more the past few years.  Granted, a smile is my one of the more confident ways I hide everything terrible in my life.  When you present yourself with a smile, it hides all the ick and makes people think life is wonderful.

Pictures have even gotten easier the past few years.  My smile is my smile.  It is unique to me.  Good, bad or ugly, it is a part of me.  Since I'm not going to do anything intentional to alter it medically, it's a part of me that's unchanging. 

The longer I am intentionally away from my parents, the easier it gets to smile and laugh and enjoy life. 

Whatever the reasons my brother or niece or nephew choose not to smile, I hope they eventually learn it is ok.  I hope they get to a place in life where they know that a chipped tooth or another person doesn't need to be a barrier in them being able to do the simple things in life.  Nobody needs a barrier to allowing others to seem the simplest sign of happiness in their lives.