Happy 15th Anniversary

Today we will celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary. 

Thanks to blogger's ability to schedule posts, I am writing this during a few moments of down time as we prepare for our trip.  Provided things have gone close to planned, we have checked into our hotel for the next three days and will be headed out on our NASA tour soon.

The fact we are spending our 15th anniversary with my niece and nephew in Texas is somewhat indicative of how our married life has gone. 

When we got married, neither of us had a plan.  Even though we had dated for nearly five years, we hadn't discussed the major things in life.  The only thing that mattered was that we loved each other and had a place to live.  We hadn't discussed children or savings or future plans at all.  We were the epitome of "fly by the seat of your pants" when it came to our relationship.

That way of living has led us to completely different ends of the life spectrum over the years.  We've had times of flourishing and times of depletion.  I am sure at some point over the next couple weeks, we will take time to reflect on both.

It is with great humility that I can say that the great times were the most fun, but the worst times taught me the most.

He prepared well for me, buying a home for us before we were married.  After all these years, we finally have made it a home.  Great progress has been made in our ability to communicate with each other just through a complete home remodel. 

Some of our more impulsive times and most fun have come in our vacations.  We have traveled all over.  Minnesota, Wyoming, Utah, California, New Mexico, Texas, Arizona, South Dakota, New York, Ohio, West Virginia, Kentucky, Tennessee, Florida, Louisiana, Arkansas, Georgia, Pennsylvania, Indiana, Illinois, Michigan, Colorado, Iowa, Mississippi, Alabama, Kansas, Missouri, Louisiana, Oklahoma, Nevada, Jamaica, Mexico, Grand Cayman, Belize, Honduras, Canada and we've sailed around the coast of Cuba.

I am so thankful that we've had so many opportunities to travel and spend quality time together.  Goodness, that may have very well balanced out the bad.

There is one thing which has been consistent in the worst of times during our marriage.  I have been solely responsible for the bad times.  Yes, it is true.  My husband is not a saint by nature, but has practiced patience and forgiveness like one.

Massive credit card debt, not now but we've made a huge dent in the over 150K debt.  Infidelity, that one's probably the hardest to admit and was very early in our marriage.  Walking out, this has been a go to for me when things have gotten rough.  Job loss.  Surgeries.  Fertility treatments and miscarriages and infertility.  Diagnoses of life-altering mental illness, subsequent unemployment. 

Not to make excuses for any of the terrible things I have done, but if you knew more about the mental illness, you might have more understanding about some of the things I listed above. 

It is kind of amazing and hard to believe that we survived all that.  I have given my husband every reason to divorce me.  In fact, I think there were times I did things intentionally to test his willingness to stay.  I don't do that any more, he's proven over and over that his love is greater than my ignorance. 

I know that every cheesy, mushy anniversary card tells your spouse that you love them more today than the day you were married.  In our case, that is true.  I love him so much more than I ever thought possible.  What's even more amazing is that he loves me more than I ever thought possible. 

He's still the one.  The one I trust the most.  The one I love the most.  The one I know will never leave me.  The one I want to share the good things in life.  The one who wipes my tears.  The one who was made for me.  The one I want to be more like.  The one I want to grow older with.  I love this man.

Happy 15th Anniversary!  May the next 15 bring more joy than pain.