The title simply put is exactly why I have continued to write, even though it wasn't my goal when I started. I wanted a place to come to see the ups and downs of my life. A place to easily find the best of times to hang onto while wading through the worst of times.
That's still the case, but even with all I have written I can't seem to dig myself out of the current downhill slide. Wrestling with all things bible based is not a new thing for me. In fact, it's usually where I've learned the most about myself and about God. But this time is different.
This time there is an internal battle brewing inside me like a civil war in my gut and far different than what I've experienced in the past. In the past, I might struggle through a particular time, subject or hurt for a short amount of time, bouncing back after some time to calm down or think clearly.
Not this time. There might as well be a double solid brick wall between me and the bible, the church and especially God.
I don't want life to be like this. I truly do have enough to struggle through. I wish someone could tell me how to fix this mess so that the distance between me and all that is right can be closed again.
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