Not Wasted

This week has been long and tiring. That's good and bad. A deficit of sleep has finally caught up with me. Things that have happened have continued to pile on my shoulders. Things have poked at my anxieties and emotions.

There's no denying, the past six weeks have been good. They've put me on a high mentally, emotionally and physically. A high that allowed me to ignore the times when my body and mind were crying out and trying to get me to see that I was being falsely confident in my own abilities.

We need times like that. We need times that are good and help us move past tougher times. But that doesn't mean we can forget what we've just walked through or out of.

I've had great results from exercise and diet. The results push me to keep going. But, I can't always do that. I have irritated old injuries and ignored my sheer inability to tolerate allergens. I've stayed busy in ways like I used to when I held a full time job and went all the time. The truth is, I can't do that. I can't go from couch potato six weeks ago to going like a teenager now.

It's a process. A process that I must respect in order to not overwhelm my body and mind.

The physical activity has given me an excuse to ignore the mental and emotional parts of life. When it hit me this week that I've been doing just that, there was a huge message the Lord laid on my heart.

I can't ignore and leave the trials alone. I can't pretend they aren't or haven't been there. Obviously, there is a high probability those trials will resurface if I'm just ignoring them.

The bigger problem is that tossing them aside like dirty laundry is wasting them. Of course it's easier and less painful to turn your back on them as if they were just a blip in life. Don't get me wrong, they may have been. But if I toss them aside, I'm wasting the trial.

It's taken years for me to fully grasp this. A trial is wasted when we do not allow it to grow us. Trials should change us. If it changes us in no other way, it should at least drive is closer to the Lord. But they can grow us in so many ways.

Trials can humble us, teach us grace or patience. They can shine a spotlight on relationships we should value and even those we should let go. They can guide us to make life changing decisions or changes. Trials can teach us dependence or imdependence. They will break us and show us all that we cannot do alone.

Ignoring the trial is completely turning out back on the opportunity to grow and change.

I've done that plenty this past year. I've complained and whined. It's been hard. I've chosen the easy way to react. I've also allowed so many of the trials to change me.

It took seeing someone else not use a trial as an opportunity to grow for me to see I often do the same.

Here's the giant neon flashing sign that has been sitting in front of me since then....Hey don't waste the trials. Allow them to change you. Use them. Use what you've learned to love others.

Sometimes it's hard to put into words something so big and so personal that's been laid on my heart. It's even harder to listen, do and allow the Lord work when it's so much easier to ignore.