Big Hands

The past two weeks have brought a whirlwind of traveling and stirred up a restlessness that has settled into the depths of me.  I cannot shake the feeling that I need God to change something in my life or inside me so I can move forward.  It is possible I need the big hands of God to reach down and open the door of the cage I'm sitting in.

Faith that will happen eludes me and I have to remind myself of another time God moved in big ways.  Ways which were so noticeable that it was undeniably God who was responsible.

Maybe the most recent was through our accident.  It wasn't until the case was closed in court and through insurance that I felt I could share more openly about it.  Not that I had anything to hide, but I think I first needed to see if God would show up in the last hour or not.  Hey, I'm not afraid to admit my sinning heart tests God.

On May 27, 2011, we set off fumigators in our house to kill off spiders that our remodel had irritated and attracted.  Since we had to be out of the house for three hours, dropped off the cat at a friend's house, loaded up all three dogs and headed to Sedalia to our favorite home improvement store. 

Headed down 50 Hwy, Kent was driving and I split my focus between the dogs and texting or facebook.  I was completely oblivious to the road ahead of us.  I wasn't worried about anything.  Kent was driving and he always takes care of me. 

I remember being on facebook and hearing Kent say, "Oh No!"  I remember hearing that sound your brake pedal makes when you slam on it, followed by the loud crunch of metal hitting metal.  The next few seconds were a blur, which quickly ended with me watching us headed for a ditch full of water.  I had enough time to brace my hands on the dash as we landed in the ditch and water splashed over the truck.

Immediately, my head started to sting in a painful way and I wanted out!  Kent had blood on his forehead and was frantically searching for phones and paperwork.  My door wouldn't open and it is a good thing because I later saw that is where the water was coming in the truck.  I checked on the dogs, who were all ok but scared. 

After I crawled out of the truck, a man checked my eyes to make sure there was no obvious injury.  The next 30 minutes would include being checked by EMTs, questioned by an officer and taking in all that happened.

An older man had stopped in the middle of the fast lane to turn.  Kent had switched to that lane to avoid hitting another car who turned the opposite direction.  He did not have time to slow down.  Realistically, he was going to hit one or the other.  It was a dangerous corner on a 65 mph highway with no turn lanes. 

My husband has amazing driving skills, but I believe God worked through him that day.  Kent only hit the corner of the car, but hard enough to flip the car over on it's top.  We went across another lane of traffic without hitting other cars.  We landed in the ditch with the drivers door opening just barely onto solid ground.

The man in the car was ok, shaken up, bruised and sore.  Kent had a scratch on his head which we are almost certain happened when our cockapoo jumped from the front seat to the back.  Kent was sore for a while, but said bracing the steering wheel had given him a little security.  None of the dogs were injured. 

Since this conversation is one-sided, I can admit I was not wearing my seat belt without fear of being shamed which people were quick to push on me afterward.  During the first impact, my head hit the windshield.  During the second impact, my head hit the sealing and my body was shook up. 

It has taken me a while to feel like the effects of the concussion are going away.  I think the mental effects will last a while longer.  To hear a brake pedal being mashed to the floor has never been more traumatic. 

Several doctors visits and days later, the problems were just beginning.  The insurance company was a huge problem for us.  They could not get the needed paperwork to process our claim and to date, they have never talked through the accident with Kent.  The lack of follow through with Kent led to his ticket being deemed non-disputable. 

The insurance company did contact us two months later to state that the medical bills for the other man were about to exceed our limits.  Since he was still being cared for with nagging whiplash injuries, we were told that our out-of-pocket portion could be up to $50,000. 

The ambulance ride for him was $34,000.  Medical bills for his two hours of being checked out at the hospital were $27,000.  Doctor bills for reading tests and dismissal were $31,000.  The day of the accident medical care resulted in over $92,000, pushing our $100,000 accident limit.  By the time he visited his primary care and received treatment at the VA, there was an excess of what our insurance would cover.

Because Kent's ticket was deemed non-disputable, he would have to appear for court in September.  We had hired a lawyer, but he was unable to change this.  Kent would have to go to court for improper use of a motor vehicle in inclement weather resulting in major loss.  The possible outcome on that ticket for that particular county was up to $5,000 in fine and court cost, possible community service and loss of driver's license with mandatory driving school.

Here is how we saw the big hands of God do more than we thought possible and at times when we had almost given up.

1.  The other gentleman walked out of the hospital and we all were alive.  It was a miracle that we all survived.
2.  Injured, I too was still alive.  My body stayed in the truck and it landed in just the right spot that kept water from getting deep inside the truck.
3.  The dogs were not injured. 
4.  Our insurance company settled under our limit with the man.  He and his son are Christians, offering much compassion and mercy for us.  They were the ones who negotiated with the hospital and doctors to lower the medical bills.
5.  In court, Kent's ticket was changed to an improper registration of a motor vehicle which was not a moving violation.  The ticket was a minimal fee.
6.  Through all of this, we began to see our church as family as they cared for us through all of this.

Through every step of that accident, I can look back and see the ways God protected, intervened, softened hearts and made the impossible be ever so possible and real.

I hang onto that today as I sit here knowing God will need to show up again because I am sitting face to face with the impossible.