Fat and Ugly

For the past several years, the ring tone I have set on my phone for my husband has been the same. I invite you to listen to the full song as you read this post.

We had the opportunity to go to a meet and greet with the singer/songwriter of this song.  He shared a sweet story about how his wife's self esteem led him to write this song. 

Let me make something very clear, I know my husband loves me.  He just doesn't have the kind of personality that is especially complimentary.  The only time he makes a comment on my hair, clothes, personality or physical appearance, it is usually in a corrective or critical way.  Maybe it's because I've lived with this for so long or maybe because I just want it to be so, I don't believe it bothers me much any more.

I am realistic.  I am an overweight woman who is not attractive.  I don't have a super sparkling personality.  Knowing all of that, I know my husband isn't like that to me just to be hateful.  And because I don't get those kind of compliments from anyone else, I'd probably not believe he was sincere even if he was to be complimentary.

Even though my head reminds me that I just don't care about this, my heart sometimes kicks me and tells me otherwise.

I think that's why I chose the song, More Beautiful You, as my husband's ring tone.  If he won't say, then I at least get told that by a stranger every time he calls.  How sad is that, right?

Why is it that even the most secure women need to overtly be told that they are attractive?  Good grief!  What was God thinking?  Wasn't all of our girly problems enough to strap us with?  Did He really have to throw in a good dose of insecurity for us all?

Last week, I saw several people on news programs talking very boldly about "ugly" or "fat" people.  They weren't being kind either.  They were being hateful and I couldn't believe how offensive they were.

I have several friends who struggle daily with self-esteem.  Some of them have gone to great lengths to change their appearance.  Not all, but most of them have done so because they didn't believe they were good enough in the eyes of another person.  It breaks my heart to see it.

Even I struggle with that.  I don't take it to extremes like yo-yo dieting fads.  I think for me it goes really does go back to that unspoken desire I have to be attractive to my husband.  Although, dieting would change my size, not my face.

Those of us who do dislike how we look or struggle with self-esteem really are harder on ourselves than anyone else ever could be.  So, I wonder why people think they need to be hateful and hurtful to those who aren't size 6 and Barbie beautiful.

I am even saddened by the number of Christian friends I hear being overly critical of others' appearances.  It makes me wonder how they reconcile that to how God sees that person or even themselves.  Does God look down on us with those same eyes?  Does he stand there, pointing and saying look at her, she's got a big, cottage cheese butt?  Does he laugh as he sees the lady standing at the make-up counter and comment that she must have been smacked by the ugly stick?

Do people really not believe Psalm 139:14, I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.?  I don't think that is meant solely for the person reading it, but for each and every person who believes in a creator who doesn't make mistakes.

I wish I knew how to exchange the hatred and judgement of the world on physical appearance for all of that verse.  Believe me, I'm not there either.  I'm not so much on the being hateful side of things as I am the receiving side of the hate. 

Truly, I believe I would find great happiness in seeing each and every person I know treating everyone they know as if they really believe each person was fearfully and wonderfully made.