Why is it that everything I do seems to be cluttered with peculiarity?
My wonderful husband gave me a birthday gift card specifically for a mani-pedi. I was so excited! I only get to have a pedicure about twice a year. Because I don't grow fingernails out long enough, I have only had one manicure in my life.
I got to the salon a few minutes early. To my surprise, I ran into a friend and had a few minutes to chat.
My nail tech summoned me to the nail portion of the salon. She didn't really introduce herself or say much of anything besides my name. In fact, she may have done little more than grunt.
Keep in mind, this is one of the classier salons. It wasn't one of those quickie nail salons where nobody speaks English and the only guarantee is that you will get a rip roaring infection that will eat away your toenails for six months.
With a swirl and additional grunt, she pointed to my throne. Ahhh...there it set, ready for me to crawl in for an hour of relaxing. The massage controls were there all shiny and inviting. I already had a plan. Roller massage for 15 minutes, vibrating massage for 15 minutes, shoulder massage for 15 minutes, and finish it off with another 15 minute vibrating massage.
I settled in quickly and hit the controls. What? Nothing! I pushed every button and got nothing. I asked the tech if the chair was broken. Not by her grunt but by the nod of her head, she told me that it indeed was broken.
Ok, not the end of my fun spa time, right?
My chair was leaning back about 45 degrees and was hurting my lower back. I asked the tech if there was a way to sit it more upright. I thought it was a reasonable request given that all the other chairs were upright. I pretty sure that grunt meant it was broken in that way too.
I can take it, I'm tough!
As she scrubbed, snipped, soaked, and girlified my feet, I sat quietly playing a game on my phone. It was my attempt to still make the most of my time there relaxing even though nothing I counted on had been so.
In my own little world, I started to really enjoy the leg and foot massage but something felt a little odd. As I looked down, I was a bit mortified. My tech was a heavier woman and was wearing an extremely low cut orange t-shirt. Not because of the angle I was sitting but her shirt, I was exposed to her stretch mark covered jumblies.
Ugh...she had my foot lodged between her two grapefruit filled gym socks. Every time I tried to pull my foot away from them, she tugged my leg closer to her like she was hungry and it was a pork chop. Finally that was over!
In the only full sentence she spoke thus far, I was told I hadn't picked out a color before sitting down. Ooops! I asked for pink and she brought 7 choices of orange. Ok, maybe she was a little color blind too. Light coral it would be then.
Finally, she finished my toes. I will admit that my callused feet are a bit smoother. However, my toenails are the same shape and length they were when I sat down. She didn't trim or do much to my toenails besides slop some paint on them. And that is with heavy emphasis on slop!
Onto my manicure we would go. Deep breath! I would be face to face with her and maybe she would be forced to be a bit more personable.
Again with a grunt, she pointed me to the chair and table. I sat down and immediately shared with her that my nails are fragile and super thin. I also asked if she recommended anything for brittle nails. Without a grunt or word, she sat a bottle in front of me. I suppose I could have read the info off the bottle, but I wasn't much into her suggestions by that point.
Disclaimer: I can't make this stuff up, I'm not that creative. She flopped her jumblies up on the table, leaving me barely enough room to put my hands down flat without touching her. That was a bit too close for me.
She grabbed my hands one at a time and worked them over with a nail file. Remember I said repeatedly that I have brittle nails.
By the time she was ready to again slop paint on them, she had ripped two of my fingernails in the center of the nail. They aren't rounded or even or even smooth.
In the only other sentence she spoke, she told me her fees were $74. I told her my husband had bought a package and that I had made that very clear when I made the appointment. Can you guess what response I got from her? That's right, another grunt.
As she was painting my nails, she seemed to have a problem with lint or some kind of long white strings sticking to my nails. She picked one off, but never fixed the polish. She wasn't as diligent with the others and just left them, painting over them.
She added the clear coat and left me to sit. She came back with the charge ticket and laid it beside me. I asked how long I needed to sit before leaving. Again, no answer. Just a grunt and hand thrown in the air. I'm guessing she meant five minutes and wasn't waiting for a high five.
I left extremely disappointed. There just wasn't much pleasurable about that. I mean I am so thankful for the gift my husband gave me, but it wasn't that fun.
When he got home and I shared with him my experience, he said I should call the salon about the service. I think that is all I needed to hear. He hadn't gotten the service he had paid for and wasn't happy about it.
After a five minute call, it was determined I would get a new manicure. I'm just not that excited to go back. And now, I have to wait for my two nails she split to grow back out.
Getting two manicures for the price of one is ok. Honestly, I'd rather have just had one done right. the first time. Oh well, I won't turn down another day to be girlie.
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