My PTSD

Last week, I saw the picture floating around social media which shows a veteran and a sign asking people to be thoughtful of them during fireworks. A local TV station posted asking viewers what they thought.

The sign doesn't make demands and is meant to give neighbors a sign that fireworks late into the night or in illegal areas may trigger those with PTSD.

My comment was that people other than veterans have PTSD and can also be triggered. A man asked me to explain. Typically, I'm happy to explain PTSD that comes out of trauma. The world has a better understanding of why soldiers come home from war with it, but few understand how those with trauma are effected.

I explained as simply as I could to answer his question. I said that those with trauma induced PTSD often come from a place of chaos and loud noises can trigger. On a personal level, unexpected loud noises are a trigger for me because I've been shot at multiple times.

That is what was said, no more and no less.

The man and two others completely attacked me. I was told that I was fishing for attention, stupid, needed to grow and deal with my problems like an adult. I was accused of wanting everyone to lose their rights because I was fucked up. Exact words.

Wow!

Not only did I hit the jackpot of ignorance, they lashed out for absolutely no reason.

My original comment was to enlighten people that there are others effected by PTSD. I never said I didn't celebrate the 4th or that I didn't enjoy fireworks.

I did respond, but later deleted the entire thread. I couldn't stand the thought that someone struggling with their PTSD seeing such hate and ignorance.

Here's the truth about the entire thread.

There are very few people who know me well enough or have seen me triggered and only those people have any right to make any comment to me about my PTSD.

Beyond that, I don't use my PTSD for attention nor a crutch. Most people wouldn't know I have it. There are times I tell people because there's a reason they will need to know. I'm open here, but try to keep it to myself. My husband knows when I'm triggered, but most people wouldn't know. PTSD is one of the reasons I don't work.

There are days when I can't function. Those are less common living here, but still happen. PTSD is the reason I am terrified to be with strangers or people I don't trust. Those things make it nearly impossible to walk into a new place for  eight hours a day. The thought sends me into a panic.

Even with that being the case, I don't often share that. I just tell people that I don't work without any reason.

I absolutely love the 4th. I'd never want to hamper anyone's fun. We go to displays every year and enjoy them. But here's the thing, I know what to expect. I know there are going to be loud noises. I don't get triggered when it's not surprising.

When people shoot off fireworks or even guns near our house, I do get triggered. Fireworks done by individuals in Ohio is illegal. Even with that, I'd still expect them on the 4th. When neighbors shoot them off in June, I'm triggered. It's unexpected. I'd still never say anything. I'd deal with it and life would go on.

In case you were wondering or still holding out on believing that PTSD is real, it is. I'm kind of beside myself that adults are so insensitive and ignorant to think it's not.

Nobody, and I repeat...NOBODY wants PTSD. Many people live with it without knowing there is a name for the thing that incapacitates them. I suppose that there are people who use it as a crutch. People who desire health do not! People who want to be healthier aren't going to use it as an excuse. They are going to count their progress and be ashamed of their setbacks.

I'm sad that anyone would attack or bully someone who has already been traumatized. It makes me sick really. That does absolutely nothing to encourage people to get help or be honest about their mental health.

If you don't understand a mental issue or even have an opposing view, I encourage you to ask questions but keep negativity to yourself.