Bob

Note:  Since I do my best to not discuss specific people by name, I've changed this persons name.

So...Bob.

Bob is an older man in our church. He shook my hand this morning, as he does most Sunday's. As he started to walk off, he stopped again and said, "You look really good."

I thanked him and smiled.

My 30 lb weight loss is finally beginning to show, slowly. That in itself has caused several people to offer compliments and encouragement.

That may have been where his compliment came from, but the entire relationship is worthy of sharing. It's one of how God softens hearts, especially mine.

A little over a year ago was the first time I met Bob. Bob was an existing member of a bible study we started attending. Our first impression of him was that he was kind enough, but bitter and a whole lot judgemental.

Bob always had something to say during bible study. He came across as very black and white, very opinionated. Bob is an elderly man and I believe has lived in this area most, if not all, his life.

I believe because of those things, he has little tolerance for this progressive world. His era was filled with hatred toward blacks and absolutely no understanding of homosexuality. He's from an era where both were shunned and not shown God's love.

Those feelings and beliefs oozed out in passionate conversation during bible study.

Not knowing anyone very well and not having a good understanding of this very sheltered area of the U.S., we often didn't know how to comprehend what was said. It came out as offensive and hatred to us. Not at us.

One night, I left bible study in tears after Bob and his friends spent a good chunk of the study sharing their hatred toward gays. There was name calling, blaming and shaming.

I have friends and family who are gay. I love them. I do my best to love them how God would want me to love any of his children. So, I was taken back by such hatred spewed from mature Christians.

That night and many months after, I held onto hatred for Bob and his friends. People explained a little bit to us why Bob was the way he was. I was hearing none of it. He was hating people and I wasn't going to stand for it.

In the coming months, I got really sick and then hit an emotional low. That study group were the only ones who really had any clue. They saw the color fade from my cheeks and checked on me often. They were the ones who eventually saw the color come back to my cheeks and that I was improving.

During that time, Bob made a point to check on me on Sunday mornings. I didn't realize at the time, but that's what he was doing. About a month ago, he told me he was glad to finally see me smiling. The next week, he let me know he had been and is continuing to pray for us. And not just for our struggles, but specifically for us to have a child.

Piece by piece, he's let me know and not in a prideful way, that he has followed, checked and prayed. His heart may or may not have been softened toward us at first, I don't know. But I know now, it is. He's been loving us in his way.

I only begrudgingly shook his hand for months. But then God softened my heart toward him. I began to pray for him months and months ago. I began respecting him and his life's journey. God put it in my heart to love Bob and his friends.

I do. I love these people who once offended me. I care so deeply for them. I've checked on them when I haven't seen them at church. I've taken meals when they've been sick. I've sent cards when I've felt led. I've prayed and praised God for how they serve the church and set examples.

The compliment this morning was lovely. But, the evolution of the friendship and how God has worked in big ways....that's beautiful!