I write for me...

I noticed today that the readership of my blog has doubled over the past month.  Yep, I am one of those who occasionally looks at the stats to see if anyone really reads my dribble.  Evidently they do; you do.

At first, I had that split second thought that it was creepy other people were reading what I write.  It isn't like when I wrote for the newspapers. Those were articles with facts and given for informational purposes.  For me, blogosphere is just an open editorial section for life as I see it. Completely different!

When I write here, I write for me.  Whether I use it to express an opinion, emotionally dump overflow or share past experiences, it is almost always written for me.  It may come across as a cry for help sometimes and maybe it is, but that's never the intention.

I doubt anyone would come to my blog for encouragement, it's really not that kind of writing.  I struggle with some common and a lot of unique problems.  I don't hide that or sugar coat it all.  I can't imagine anyone reading what I write and feeling uplifted.

There are rarely any comments on my posts.  I also don't get much feedback from friends either.  That leads me to believe the people reading my blog could possibly be strangers or people I have no relationship with at this time.   It's even possible that you reading this are a complete stranger.  I'm really ok with all of the above.

Maybe one day you'll leave me a comment to share with me why you read my blog.  I'd love to know.  Not that it would change what I have to say or have any influence over how honest I am.

I also had that brief thought about the content of my posts.  There are some posts that are raw, unedited and even vulgar.  Sure, I could go back and edit them.  However, I think that would discredit me as being real and honest.  And, honestly, those are the posts I need the most.  I need those points of desperation to look back on later.  I need those reference points to see my own progress. 

There are a couple people I know read the blog to stay up-to-date with what I am thinking.  I'm ok with that too.  Some days my husband is so busy that I barely see him.  At least here he can know what's on my mind. I love you honey! 

Whatever your reason for being here, I hope you continue to visit.  I hope at times you can find something useful here.  If you're truly a creeper and shouldn't be here, well then I hope you'll eventually get bored with me.  If you dislike me and follow just to find joy in my misery, then you're probably family or just as sick and twisted as they are.