Overthinking

My dreams maybe an indication that I'm over analyzing this upcoming birthday. You only turn 40 once, right!

Like I've said, I've not been overly upset about the age. I feel like my age is finally starting to match me. Truly the depressing part of my birthday is not having friends or family to celebrate.

I had one of those depressing birthdays. It was when I was 15. I woke up completely upset by the fact I was half way to 30. At that age, I must have thought 30 was old age or the end of life. Oh my goodness! My 30s have been some of the best and most challenging years of my adult life.

Last night, I informed my husband that he only had three days until he was married to an old woman. He responded with a laugh. I suppose that's fair. He is ten years older. That means he's got a ten year head start on being old.

Anyway, I can tell I've been thinking about my age way too much. My bizarre dreams are a reflection of the crazy things that float through my head.

I think with any big birthday, you consider the future and maybe even your mortality. It's not eating at me, but I think naturally in my thoughts a little more.

The past week, I've had crazy dreams. They all involve "old people" things or bizarre things happening.

In one, I had to wear glasses to see an ear of corn and then subsequently lost my teeth eating the corn. Another, I went to a doctor who made dentures and fit people for adult diapers. Holy nuts! In another dream, masked men invaded my house and I beat them off with a cane.

Then there have been the dreams where I either die or am sick. Those suck.

I don't remember these kind of things when I turned 30. All but one of my grandparents is still living. They are all in their 80s with no evident health issues. No parent, uncle (oddly I don't have any blood line aunts) or cousin has died and none have any diseases or apparent health problems. All of my great grandparents except one lived into their 80s or 90s. Same with extended family. Suicide and car accident are the leading cause of death in my family. My middle brother is the only one with any health issues. So, hopefully, I've inherited good genes and life is still less than half over for me.

I'll be finishing up my 30s with lots of schoolwork. Probably the really crazy thing is that starting next week, I'll be a 40 year old college student.