Forgiveness is Tricky

I'm learning that it's much easier to forgive people you no longer have contact with.

In the past few months, I've had some acute medical issues and lost a baby. With the exception of my brothers family, nobody in mine or my husbands family has bothered to reach out to us. No calls or texts. No sorry you lost a baby or sorry you had to go to the ER again.

They don't care. They don't care about anyone but themselves.

Yesterday, I had what we believe is a gallbladder attack for the second time in three days. We went to the ER at 3 am.

A particular member of my husbands family chose yesterday to bitch at me about bringing our dogs back for Thanksgiving and not staying with my inlaws.

WTF? I just got home from the hospital and I know you know that because you are a fb junkie.

Maybe it's because I don't feel good. Or maybe it's because the older I get, the less I feel the need to put up with bullshit. But, I have no tolerance for this.

If you aren't compassionate or loving or even sensitive towards us when life is hard, then you sure the hell don't have the right to judge me or tell me what to do.

That's the way these people operate. I've been a part of them for over 20 years and it'll never change. But how much do u have to subject myself to before I snap?

There are times when we have to fight to act christian. This is one of those times. Everything in me wants to tell all of them to piss off.

It's one of those times that I am going to have to pray like crazy. I know ultimately they have the problem. They have sin in their lives that make them hateful and selfish. Not that I am without sin in this, I'm not. My heart is cold toward them. I'm angry.

We only have a few weeks till we leave. I hope I can prepare my heart for it before then.