False accusations have far reaching ramifications for far more than today's embroiled celebrity.
Before I go any further, let me explain that I believe there is a difference between rape and molestation. I've experienced both. Rape is when the person is sexually assaulted and has the mental capacity and maturity to make a decision for consent. Molestation is when the person is sexually assaulted and does not have the capacity to consent or is mentally incapacitated by age and/or the stronghold of the abuser.
Without question, both are wrong, evil. Both sets of perpetrators deserve punishment of castration or some equivalent.
I believe the bible is very clear on righteous anger and these acts definitely qualify. Some of the strongest language from Jesus is regarding hurting God's children. Romans 12:9 tells us to hate what is evil.
Before I get too far off course, let me get back to my point.
Rape is awful. Those of us who've experienced it know the scar it leaves on your heart. Sadly, a majority of women who are raped are revictimized. That has been my experience.
Being raped alters who you are and your ability to be strong, especially in the weeks, months and years immediately after. Fortunately, some have a stronger resolve. Not someone who has been broken over and over. That weakness allows you to become prey for those who search for a victim.
When you have been raped, you know the depth of pain and the trauma intimately. Knowing pain that intimately also gives you a real compassion for others who've been down this road.
Unfortunately, it's also easier to pick up on those who aren't being truthful.
I'm not being a cynic, not with this. But I am a realist. Not every woman who claims to have been raped has been. It's sad, but true.
We've all seen it play out in the media. Someone makes a rape accusation against an athlete or celebrity. Sometimes their is a settlement. To the general public, a settlement is an admission of guilt. Not true! Other times there is a trial, guilty or not.
I've looked at the statistics. When a rape goes to trial against someone above your average person, the majority are found not guilty. And the truth is, that's probably an accurate outcome.
Why?
I cannot argue that sometimes an average, consenting sexual experience is traumatic. There's regret, unexpected actions, self loathing. I've seen it firsthand when any combo of those things leads someone to claim rape. None of those things qualify as rape. Rape is rape. Those aren't rape. All those things cause high emotion and can lead to a false accusation.
Honestly, if I were a male, fear of false accusation would drive me toward abstinence until marriage.
I've seen false accusations ruin lives.
The reality is that false accusations hurt everyone. They hurt the two people involved, their families, past and future victims.
Let's take the Cosby situation for instance. I've seen an interview with an accuser. Let's be very clear. If a supposed victim is recalling actual details of the event without sincere emotion, it is ok to be suspect of the accusations. There is nothing in me during that entire interviewed that felt compassion for her. I believe what I heard was someone wanting to cash in on the accused's status. In fact, the high profile lawyer for these women has asked for $100 million for these women.
The problem is that anyone who makes a false accusation makes the next accusation harder to believe.
False accusations have left us with a society who is unapathetic toward real victims. Our society places more blame with the victim and more innocence with the perpetrator unless there is physical evidence.
Please believe me, I have great compassion for those who have been raped. The distrust and scars are lifelong. My heart aches for those who've been traumatized and the years it takes to heal. I understand how rape can change the course of a life.
But false accusations trouble me. I'm fearful for the young men I know. I'm fearful for the unstable young ladies I know.
I pray for the safety and minds of all the young men and women I know. I pray for these men and women wrapped up in webs of lies. I pray for true victims.
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