New Year Goals

I don't do resolutions. I think they are lists of ways to fail.

However, I do have a few goals for this year.

Some goals are our goals and some are mine.

1. School. I will have to go four semesters to get everything done and to get all the counseling classes that I want. I should graduate in May 2016. I have to stay focused. My personality bent will drive me to work hard and expect a 4.0. I know that's a great goal, but have to maintain balance so that school doesn't become the only thing in my life. Goal:  balance.

2. Finances. This is our goal. We want to save more money each month and pay off the car. We know it's feasible. We know in the near future, we want to adopt. We want to have more savings and a larger house. Goal:  budget money.

3. Prayer and bible study. I have grown in spiritual disciplines, but I want to develop better habits. I want to keep a list and spend concentrated time on it each day. Goal:  grow spiritually.

4. Church. This year, I had a setback. I allowed myself to be vulnerable and honest only to recoil when I failed. It's still eating at me. I still have walls. I still haven't committed to being fully engaged again. I hate it. Participation is key in my growth. I can't get over the hump. Out of everyone involved, I'm the only one still having a tough time. I'm not holding onto any ill will at all. I'm just not able to move beyond the walls, not capable of being vulnerable. Goal:  pray for the want to, the desire to not be so protective of myself.

5. Pray for my family. I tend to see my family as a lost cause or God's problem. I realize how badly they need salvation. I'm not there with my parents yet. I know that acceptance is something that I cannot control. I can petition the Lord for Him to soften their hearts. Goal:  pray consistently for salvation in my brothers and their families.

6. Health. I need to have two surgeries this year. I don't want either. I fear surgery. Having the surgeries will make me feel better. I Know losing additional weight would do the same. Goal:  trust God in all things.

7. Relationships. I have and am struggling with this. I don't have much in common with people around me. They are sweet and kind, but I'm incredibly lonely. My social butterfly heart isn't thriving here. I've tried with a few people and failed. Socially, I don't really fit. I'm praying, but am not sure what else I can do. Goal:  continue praying that I would find everything I need in God alone.

8. Celebrate. This year is a big one for us. I turn 40 and he turns 50. Neither of us are excited about growing older. I'll be honest, we had huge plans for parties with friends and family. That's not going to happen now. Birthdays had become these difficult days that were more about stuff than creation. We need to see our value in Christ and celebrate the lives we have been given. Goal:  find ways to celebrate each other and the life we have together.

I am sure there are more goals we need to set. These are the most important at this time. None of them are going to crush me if they are failures. However I know that success will bring greater joy in my life. That's motivation enough to stick with them.