Road to Salvation, Part 2

We arrived just after the greeting time and were able to escape the uncomfortable handshakes with all of these strangers. Nobody seemed to notice us sitting in the back row and we were more than ok with that. While not much stood out to me that day more than my own uncomfortable feelings, I can remember one of the songs so very clearly. Here I am to Worship. It had a beat that would stick with me and a message that I wouldn’t understand until much later. I would find myself later that day downloading this catchy new tune I had heard.


We managed to escape the church that first Sunday with only one lady talking to us. She had a warm, friendly face. We took the coffee mug she handed us and the literature. The coffee mug went to my office and the literature went in the trash. I had sat through a sermon, I certainly felt no obligation to read what she had given me.

The next day, I received a call at work from Kent. He said two men from the church had come by and left a bag of cookies. He said the men were nice, but didn’t share much more. I was incredibly glad I had chosen to work late and missed them all together.

Because the church experience wasn’t completely awkward, we decided to go back the following week. The pastor was preaching on Acts and Kent seemed to enjoy going. I would keep to myself during the handshakes and avoided all contact and conversation with everyone. I but mostly fidgeted in my chair hoping nobody would make eye contact with me. Kent seemed to be getting what he thought he needed from going each week.

For a few months, we began to grow more and more comfortable in the back row. I, on the other hand, was going merely to appease my husband. I didn’t pay attention to what was being said, rarely shook anyone’s hand and genuinely didn’t care to be sitting in church each week. I even made sure that Kent never put more than two dollars in the collection plate each week. And, while I love singing, I didn’t care to join in with everyone as they sang. To me, this was still just a phase my husband was going through and I was biding my time waiting for him to be done over it.