You Know

Have you ever had times when you sat watching television and after an hour you couldn't remember one thing you had just watched? That's fairly common for people, especially after a long day. It's easy for a tired mind and body to "zone out" while doing activities that are for the most part, mindless.

Chances are, even you if you don't remember it, you have done this type of thing. But imagine for a moment if you did that for hours at a time or even days.

I am still uncomfortable sharing exactly what is going on in my life, but I can safely share that I have periods of time like this.

It is not uncommon for me to go through blocks of time, sometimes hours and hours, without any memory of it. It is not uncommon for me to find myself in places, talking to people or even doing obscure things without any immediate knowledge of how I got there.

Without a doubt, I always feel unsettled at first and then try my best to recall the last thing I remember. As was the case today when I found myself sitting at church and not remembering much since yesterday evening. I was fully functioning, just not myself so to speak.

When I sat down in the church sanctuary trying to remember anything to connect me to the last 16 hours, I started to wonder if I really needed to agonize over it.

Rarely do I find comfort in opening the bible and looking at random pages. But today, I found myself reading Psalm 139.

The sanctuary is the one place that reminds me of God's place in my life and my situation. Sometimes I sit in the sanctuary of the church and the one and only thing I think about is this:
Jesus said, "Your Father knows how many hairs there are on your head!" (Matthew 10:30)

When you lose as much time as I do, there is comfort in knowing that God knows. He knows where you are, what you are doing because He knows you and me.

I had never read Psalm 139, but it too is a picture of how God knows us and knows where we are in life. I must never stray too far from knowing that in those times when I have no memory, God does and knows every minute, every second.

1 O LORD, you have searched me

and you know me.

2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"

12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

This is not all of the Psalm. I encourage you to check it out.