A beautiful, young lady was beginning her dating years. She enjoyed the company of her suitors and was happy to have a different one each night of the week. Her habits were designed to allow her the privilege of dating, but protect her from getting close to any of them. Her entire life, she had been told and shown that she was unlovable. In her heart, she knew she could never allow herself to fall in love with any man because he too would find her unlovable and break her heart.
When one of the suitors would become enchanted with her beauty and sweet charm, she would quickly leave them behind. In the middle of the night, she would leave a tiger Lily and note on the young man's front porch. The next morning, the young man would find in the note a simple explanation. The flower will remain beautiful longer than you shall love me.
The story goes on to say the young lady died alone with the tiger Lily by her side. Sad, isn't it?
If you know anything about me, you can probably guess that I identified with her symbol. Tiger lilies, at best, will last one week. At one time, I believed I was unlovable. I believed the beautiful flower would outlast anyone who thought they loved me.
I was so convinced of this, even after being married for five years, I had them tattooed on my back. No, it was not meant to be a "tramp stamp" as some people call them. I wanted to be permanently marked with a symbol of truth...that nobody could ever love me.
Several years later, I have a somewhat different outlook on that tattoo.
I am not pretentious like many people I know. I do not look at people with tattoos and think less of them. I would never get a tattoo on my face, arms or really anywhere where anyone could see it. But I certainly won't judge those who do as some kind of freak. In fact, I often forget I have one.
Since 2007, I have taken the time to think about tattoos and what the bible says about them. I think a lot of people use 1 Corinthians 3:16-17 out of context to say tattoos are wrong. Leviticus 19:28 is very clear on them. I have asked the "tattoo" question of several seasoned Christians and even some who work in ministry. The only conclusion I came to was that there are different opinions on how to interpret what the bible says on them. In blogosphere, there is debate on whether they are right or wrong biblically. I did get mine before I was a Christian and I am not sure I would make the same decision today.
That being said, I am not regretful of having one nor ashamed.
The truth is that the tattoo is significant even now. It holds a couple of reminders for me. In the human world, I can be unlovable. People can decide they can't or won't love me for who I am. It is probable that any human could hurt me by not loving me. That is truth in the simplest form.
But now I know another truth. The truth is that I could add a line above my tattoo that says, "Before August 3, 2007, I believed I was unlovable." With another line underneath that says, "But I was never unlovable in the eyes of God."
To anyone who knows me, I may truly be unlovable (and I often believe that still). But God always loves me. Regardless of the tattoo. Regardless of what I believe.
And so my story goes...The flower will wither and die long before the eternal love of God.
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