It's a Hallmark Moment

Have you shopped for your Mother's Day card yet?  It's just a few short days away, so if you haven't then you should get yourself on out there.  You don't want to miss out on finding that perfect card for your mother or wife or even daughter.

I, on the other hand, will not be shopping for or be the recipient of any card this Mother's Day.  I'm just fine with that.

Hallmark seems to cover so many occasions, but it just doesn't ever seem to cover Mother's Day for me.  Oh, it's a Hallmark moment for certain.  They just don't have the right cards.

I used to buy a Mother's Day card, but not for my mom.  It was always a time of year that I honored my mother-in-law.   Not because she was so incredibly awesome towards me, but because she raised the man I love.  She is one half of who my husband is and that makes her pretty special, regardless of how I feel about her at times.  They just don't make cards that would really be appropriate this year.  I would need a card that somehow reminded her of who I am and explained to her how thankful I am for a son who she's likely forgotten how she raised him.

They have lots of lovely cards for mothers.  Some are funny, capturing the mothers with a sense of humor or from the child who has that kind of relationship with their mom.  Some are sappy, sweet and share simple thoughts that a child wants to express to their mom.  Some share gratitude for a job well done. 

But they just don't make one that says what would be appropriate for my mom.  It would need to start with a congratulatory, "Thanks for being the worst mother anyone could ever have."  I envision the inside would be filled with a list of the attributes that keep her from being mother of the year.  You turned your back on your daughter; allowed your daughter to be beaten and raped; encouraged your daughter to be used as a prostitute for extra cash...just to name a few.  I think the conclusion would be a quaint, "I hope you choke on it."  That was my mom's famous line any time we asked for food or drinks as children.

Oh and I certainly won't be receiving any cards this year.  That's not a stretch, I've never gotten one and for good reason.  I'm not a mom.  I might care for, feed, bathe, comfort when sick and dress wounds, but it just doesn't count when the little ones walk on four legs.

They don't make cards for people like me.  I have never seen a card that conveys a heartfelt message about what a good mom I would have been if it hadn't been for the untreated, massive infections caused by years of horrific abuse.  Nobody has ever made a card that tells you that you would have made a great mom if your body hadn't decided to naturally abort them.

I may have found my next profession, greeting card writer.  I would definitely cover the areas that you can't seem to find anywhere.  Ok, maybe not.