Let me start by saying that my brother and his family are coming out for 8 days at Christmas and I am elated. It'll be the first time in 8 years that I've soent Christmas with any of my family.
But let's get down to the reality of the right now. Each year my husband asks for a Christmas list. I'm happy to give him one, but it's also the beginning of the Christmas spiral.
This year has great potential to be different, in good and bad ways.
Having my brothers family here is going to make it the best holiday season.
Being here, in a new place, it's going to make the holidays hard.
We will be back home for Thanksgiving. That's going to be good for my husband. He will need and enjoy the time with his family.
They aren't my family though. That's always been the case, but especially so in the past year. I've been through a lot and nobody has bothered to check on me. Two miscarriages, being sick, big life changes, they all know about it and nobody has bothered to say one word. That's a big slap of reality.
So, there won't be any family or warm fuzzy feelings for me through Thanksgiving.
There's a bigger change here. We had friends and parties and invitations and traditions.
We would go several times to look at the traditional KC lights.
We had Christmas cards and trays of cookies or breads.
We don't have many friends here and even less who know how tough it will be to go through the holidays so far away from home, adjusting still to our new normal.
I'm prepared. I'm ready. Bring on the good and bad. We will make the most of it all.
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