Ready for the Weekend

It's literally been a dog-took-a-dump on me kind of week.  No kidding!
Saturday - rubbed my elbow on hot pan
Sunday - Stubbed my toe, ripped toenail
Monday - dropped ketchup on my lavender shirt
Tuesday - the lid for my frap was cracked and coffee spilled down front of other lavender shirt
Wednesday - chopped off a chunk of my thumb
Thursday - had the dog next to me in the truck and she pooped on my leg

That's just a portion of it. I could throw in all of the other stuff that happened this week. It was a crap filled week dealing with people too.

I found out my niece and nephew are dealing with some significant bullying back home.  My heart breaks for them.  They both have some speech problems, learning disabilities and are chunky kids.  They are prime targets for bullying.  It makes me sick to think about these kids getting picked on.  I love them so much that when they hurt, I hurt for them.

I had a parent at church tell her child that I was mean.  That came a few days after another mother from church questioned my ability to babysit a child, since I don't have kids.  I found myself in a position where I felt I needed to tell the world that I do in fact like children and I am not mean.  I often tell people that I am afraid of children as a way to avoid the super painful discussion about why I don't have any children.  I think it's understandable that I don't like to talk about being pregnant so many times and never giving birth to a child who survived.  I guess I'll have to find a different way to avoid that conversation that can't be taken out of context.

I watched a dear friend work "the system" and take advantage of other people I care about.  Ouch!  It's not that I put all of my friends on a pedestal or expect perfection from them.  However, when I get to know someone well and hear them lay out what they believe is right and wrong and then I see them do all the things they say are wrong....well, let's just say I lose all respect for them.  It's not like I have a lot of close friends, so it stings when one looks like a keeper but I have to throw them back.

Speaking of disappointing human behavior, I've had my fill of it in another area that I just can't discuss right now.  All I can say is that it's extremely disappointing and a little bit crushing to see hypocritical, immature behavior from some of the most mature people you know.

Today, I had two teenage girls standing just a few feet away from me whispering about how weird I was.  They really don't know me and I've always done my best to be cordial and kind to them.  But, I heard every word they said.

I'd like to mention that I am not perfect!  I know I have a ton of faults.  However, I can tell you that a week like this one certainly does not help my already difficult time in believing people are good, kind, loving, genuine or even offer common consideration for other human beings.

I don't say this with any kind of selfishness at all.  But I so need to see something good.  I need to have my faith renewed in people.  I feel like I'm on the verge of writing off people and becoming a lonely old hermit the rest of my life. 

What's sad is that I, like many others, equate the love of God with the people in my life.  It's too hard to believe that God is any better than what you see around you.  I think I need to see the good in people to again believe that God is good.