Unusual Contact From Home

Another Thanksgiving has come and gone for us.  We spent most of the day traveling and napping and feeling the sting of disappointment.  No traditional meal.  No family.  Just the husband and I with our three furry pups.

It goes without saying that we had strategically planned our vacation to avoid our typical holiday funk.  I had every hope that this year I would be able to overcome my general depression over being one of the few people I know who would not see one family member over Thanksgiving. 

I was doing fairly well despite our massive change in plans.  That was until I received a text message from home. 

My sister-in-law sent me a text from my brother letting me know that my aunt and uncle from Minnesota were in town and he thought I'd like to see them.

Whoa!

Let me start by saying that it isn't completely unusual for my sister-in-law to send me a text on holidays.  No biggie!  But this was different.  Not in over five years has there been anything close to an invitation or letting me know anything about family visiting from out of town.  Heck, there's not even any info sent when someone dies, gets married or a baby is born.

Just a side note here, you might find it strange for my extremely dysfunctional family to have had no deaths in over 14 years; only 1 marriage in over 12 years; only 1 baby born in the last 7 years, no divorces in over 6 years and that extends through 3 grandparents, 4 aunts, 4 uncles and 12 cousins.

With the text coming in just a few miles from Branson, there was not chance we would be able to visit them anyway...even if I'd wanted.

The sad reality is that I would have wanted to see them.  I haven't seen them since the last time we saw them on a trip to Las Vegas about seven years ago.  So much has changed since we saw them last.  Honestly, my desire to see them would be entirely selfish and likely make them uncomfortable.

This is the aunt who during a visitation hearing in court accused my grandparents of abusing and inappropriate sexual acts with my cousins.  It was literally the closest anyone in my family got to getting caught.  I have a crap ton of questions I would love to ask her.  Probably the hardest one would be how she reconciled in her own heart enough to go stay in the same house with the same person she accused of abuse. 

Needless-to-say, I failed miserably after that at keeping the holiday depression from kicking my butt. 

I swapped a couple surface text messages with my aunt and knew they were all celebrating Thanksgiving together as one big happy family.

Now I fully understand that even the most dysfunctional family can make themselves look good for a short time.  But the idea of being the only one left out of it all was a bit more than I could stomach.

This is something I have been grieving for over five painful years.  I would rather here nothing at all than tidbits.  I would rather live with what I assume than what I know.  Reality and truth is just too hard and avoidance is how I cope. 

I hope the level of difficulty I'm having getting through Thanksgiving isn't a foreshadowing of what Christmas will bring.