Once again, I find myself in this place where every part of me wants to fight against some of my ultra conservative, narrow-minded friends. Keep in mind, I say that knowing that I am not perfect. It is my background, what I know about God, the truth I've seen in scripture and what I know of the law that places me at odds with them.
Unless you've had your head in the sand, I'm sure you've heard the recent story about molestation inside the Duggar family. I will admit, I don't watch the show. When their show first came onto TLC, I read an article that turned me off. They have 19 kids. They admittedly said that the older children were paired with younger children to keep track of them and care for them. This is probably my own judgmental attitude coming out, but I consider it irresponsible to have so many children that you can do those things yourself. There is a problem when children are raising their parent's children.
Here is my other problem with this family. So many of my friends have made them role models and idols. For that matter, the entire country has. When you idolize a person(s), they are bound to fall and disappoint. Not to mention, the bible is very clear about idols. It angered me when the entire country seemed to mourn the wife's miscarriage. She has 19 children. Why are we mourning the loss of the 20th more than we mourn the loss of any other baby? Why, as a country, are we not offering more support to the mother who's lost her 1st, 2nd, 15th? It is the epitome of how we idolize people, celebrities and reality stars.
This is what I know of this recent scandal.
1. The young man molested multiple young girls, including at least one sister.
2. He was underaged at the time of the victimization.
3. His parents knew and chose to file a police report only after the statute of limitations had run out.
4. He was shown on camera talking about dating one of his sisters.
Many of my friends have spoken out in support of this family. The young man has repented and of course, is forgiven, as it should be. They believe the show should go on as if this never happened, just a blip. They truly believe that since he was underaged at the time, it was right for him to not be punished legally and that it is "just something kids do" when they are experimenting with their sexuality at young ages. They are angry that so much attention has been brought to this, thinking it is something that should have been handled and been able to be kept private within the family.
Keep in mind, this doesn't apply to all my friends. I'm very specifically speaking about ones who have been vocal on social media.
I'm going to lay it out there, what I think lined up with scripture and what makes me cringe about the ignorance of my friends.
Let's start with scripture. Matthew 18:6 and Luke 17:2 both quote Jesus. He says, "It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were cast into the sea than that he should cause one of these little ones to sin." Depending on the version, it may say stumble.
Do you know what a millstone is? It is huge. This is some of the strongest language that Jesus uses. He's saying you'd be better off being thrown to your death than hurting or causing God's children to sin. He's placing a price on the protection of the children of God. We are all God's children and should certainly take that seriously.
Is there forgiveness for someone who does hurt another? Absolutely! Maybe not to this degree, but we all hurt others from time to time. I know I hurt my husband daily. He forgives and so does God, when I ask and sometimes even when I don't. A thousand times, over and over, I am forgiven. This isn't about not forgiving sin. The bible calls us to forgiveness.
This is about the deception and long-term problems.
In the middle of the long list of abusers from my past, you will find a cousin. He is about 10 months younger than me. He molested me for well over 10 years.
Children molesting children isn't just something kids do when they are learning about their sexuality. That was something my husband thought too. He said sometimes kids just touch each other. He looked at it as those semi-innocent touches on the playground or kids showing each other their private parts. He believed it was an exploration. I'm not saying those things are right, but there is a difference. Those things are about exploring sexuality. Nobody wants to see those things happen either, but they are so much different.
When I say children molesting children, I mean once or more of inappropriate contact that is sexually motivated and more of a deviant behavior. It's unwanted by the other party. It involves touching and more adult-like activity. The aggressor does not have to be older, but they are definitely more aggressive.
Here is something I learned from my own experience. What my cousin did, wasn't from natural curiosity. After stepping into the process of forgiving him, I quickly understood that he was acting out based on the abuse he had suffered. He learned the behavior somewhere.
That is something the parent of every child who has been caught or accused of molesting should consider. Where did the behavior come from? Especially when the behavior comes from within a very conservative family who shelters their children, one has to question where this behavior was learned. It is possible this young man needs counsel for more than what he has done.
This is more opinion than fact, but someone needs to be punished in this case. Molestation isn't an issue to be dealt with strictly inside a family. Children have been hurt. Let me be 100% clear. The parents are absolutely wrong to have waited until the statute of limitations ran out before reporting. that is deceptive and flat out wrong. They basically said, hey our kid is a child molester and you can't do anything about it. They knew long before then and made a conscious choice to not report.
TLC should cancel their show. Not only that, but whatever political position the dad has should be resigned. A man who ignores the laws set in place to protect children shouldn't have a part in running any level of government.
The young man has resigned from his job. But, how does anyone know that he has been rehabilitated? This is why we have the sexual predator registry. Go look at them. There are 1000s who are on because of things they did as underaged children. I don't necessarily agree that they should remain on them, but the laws are changing for those reasons. Children can be rehabilitated. However, this family made that determination themselves by hiding truth.
It's very obvious that this family is full of secrets and secrets make us sick. They are not a family to be idolized. They are not a family that needs to be put out to the nation for viewing pleasure. Honestly, that probably covers a lot of reality tv. If we, as a nation, could view those shows as entertainment and not reality, it would be different. But most cannot do that.
Frankly, I don't want a known sex offender on my tv. I don't want to see rapists nor people who commit violence against others on tv. It's a sick world. I don't need to see it on tv and neither do others. I don't want my nieces and nephews to think it's ok have child molesters on tv or in their lives.
I try my best to not argue with my fellow believers over social issues, I really do. However, I'm not afraid to take on this subject and say that if you support the Duggar family and keeping their show on tv, you are wrong. There are bigger problems here that do need to be dealt with legally and privately.
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